Time doesn't exist when my pen and paper kiss.

Urgh! *puts head in hands* Damn it! I thought I was past this and now it comes and bites me in the ass. I feel like I've swallowed a freaking cough drop and my pulse is going faster and I'm happy and pissed at the same time. Why can't I just forget him? Why?!? All it's caused me is pain. Everyone else, the second they hurt me they're on my shit list. Why is he different? I feel like those girls that have a boyfriend and just let him beat her up cause she thinks he'll stay. I don't want to be like that. I'M NOT WEAK! I just wish it would stop. Just stop...

I don't get it. I don't anything. One day I think I'm the happiest person in the world and the next I'm crushed into the gutter and someone with gum stuck to the bottom of their shoe is stepping on my face. I can't say what's bothering me cause I don't totally understand myself. Ok, I'm lieing. I do know. It's just embarassing and I don't want to say it. I mean, it's not worth it. Getting all worked up about a guy. I'm sorry but it's not. He's treated me badly already, I don't need this too. I got my hopes up too high and that was a long way to fall. Why is it that none of my relationships ever work out? They always go: I like them, I tell my friends, my friends reasure me, I like them even more, I get sure about myself, I scare them away, and then they hurt me. I just want to find someone who won't crush me into the dust. Whether they mean it or not doesn't matter. It hurts but I never want them to know it.

I am such a bad liar. Espically when I'm lieing to myself.

He're the pictures!